A dear friend of mine posted a song on my Faceb**k page the other day. She said it made her think of me...it is called 'Strong Enough' by Matthew West. It was perfect. The chorus goes like this: "I know I'm not strong enough to be everything that I'm supposed to be. I give up. I'm not strong enough. Hands of mercy won't you cover me. Lord right now I'm asking you to be strong enough. Strong enough."
I've had all these thoughts in my head over the last week or so of what I would say if/when I started blogging again. How could I make it clever? Not sound too complainy? Of course, when I actually find time to sit down and blog, my mind is blank. Nothing clever comes to mind. The reason that I'm blogging again right now though is not for popularity or for the number of friends who comment...it's to sort through the chaos in my head and heart right now and to have an outlet for my thoughts. Journaling is one of the best ways for me to clear my head and writing takes too long. So I'm just going to write what comes to mind and not worry about how 'popular' it sounds. These are my thoughts.
The last 3 years have been a roller coaster. Everything I thought I knew about myself and my faith has been challenged. My husband and close friends have heard me cry more than ever, and I feel like I'm in a constant state of anxiety/drama. We're in the middle right now of one of the hardest, most stressful times in our marriage/family. Everything is uncertain. Nothing can be taken for granted. Our 'normal' is getting redefined everyday. (And I'm not liking it very much.)
And still, in the midst of this, I hear the truth. "I have a plan for you child. I love you and want you to draw close to me. Nothing else matters. Trust me. All the time."
So I cling. I remember verses about plans and thinking of good things. I focus on my blessings and try to squeeze joy out of whatever I can find.
I was talking to a friend this weekend who is going through a really rough time. Rougher than what I'm going through. And she looked...happy. I asked her how she was doing and she said "I'm doing okay. My circumstances haven't changed, but God is changing me." I pray that this is how I react as well, with such class and faith.
Something to think about tonight...
2 comments:
HI, sweet Renee-
Your transparent heart is beautiful.
May God hear your cry and do "immeasurably more than all you can ask or imagine" (Eph 3:20)
Sincerely,
Emily
Your friend is right. I think that is exactly what happens. He uses difficult circumstances to change us and make us better. Draw near to Him and He will carry you through. It sounds cliche, but when you put it into practice it really is true! Praying this over you.
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