Positive Thinking

I am FINALLY starting to feel like a living human again. I'm still sick...coughing a lot, and sniffly, but my head is much more clear. After a week of feeling like I was just watching the world pass me by, I at least feel more like wanting to be a part of that world again.

Yesterday I didn't see any possible way of making it through the day by myself. I felt really sick- having a hard time breathing, exhausted, coughing, yadda, yadda, yadda. My mom is out of town, and I knew that Andy couldn't leave work, so I HAD to make it through the day.

Since I didn't have any other option, I decided to try to make the most of it. I have been reading lately about taking thoughts captive, and how we're supposed to think of good things, so I thought I would try to have a 'positive thinking' day. I decided to take the day on minute by minute, and asked for God's help to get me through.

When I started to get frustrated because Becca was screaming and crying (I think she's working on her canine teeth), I tried to focus on her eyes. They're big and blue, and sweet. I looked into them, and reminded myself of how lucky I am to be able to be home with her. I reminded myself that I am very blessed that I get to be the one to handle her when she's like that, instead of someone else who might not care as much about her as I do.

When I started to feel sorry for myself about how bad I was feeling, I thought of other women who would love to be pregnant, and be able to stay home, even if it IS with a screaming toddler. I reminded myself that it could be much worse, and that I would get over my cold soon. I told myself that at least I didn't have to 'call in' to my job, and feel bad about missing a few days.

When I started to think about what a mess our house is, and get overwhelmed, I thanked God for the beautiful home that we have, and thanked Him that we have stuff to make it messy.

When I started to feel resentful of my husband that we was at work at not helping me take care of Becca, I reminded myself that he goes to work every day so that I can stay home with Becca. And I remembered how he brings me coffee in the morning, before he goes to work.

I still went to bed exhausted and ready for the day to be over, but emotionally I felt much better. It's much easier to remember how blessed you are when you spend the day reflecting on said blessings.