Perspective?

At my MOPS group last Friday, one of our icebreaker questions was "do you ever lose perspective?"

HA! I feel like answering "Only every day!" Today, especially. My goal is survival, at the moment. And getting my daughter through the day.

She hasn't adjusted to the time change yet, and has been waking up at 6am every morning. Before the time change, she used to sleep until 7:30, and wake up happy. Now she wakes up at 6, screaming and crying. I've tried putting her to bed earlier, but she just cries until her normal time of 7:30, 7:45. And she will only take an hour and a half, MAYBE two hour nap in the afternoon. So...she's missing out on an hour and a half of sleep. She wasn't a very happy girl before the time change because she was so tired. Now she's just miserable.

So she woke up at 6, just ticked at the world. I think she misses her daddy, too. I have a little bit of empathy for her there, but it doesn't really change her day at all, so I don't feel too bad.

I let her cry for a little while, hoping to not make this 6am thing a habit. I got her up, gave her her morning soy milk, and we cuddled for a few minutes. Mostly, she just asked me for breakfast (which we usually don't eat until 7:45 or so).

After breakfast, I tried to get laundry together. She whined because she wanted up on the bed when I was taking the sheets off. She whined because she wanted in the pack n play that is in our room now, because I'm babysitting. She whined when I put her in, and whined when I took her out.

I tried putting her down for a morning nap (she takes about one a week now). All she did was whine. I got her up, and decided to try to run some errands because I needed to get out of the house. She had a messy diaper, and insisted on putting her hands in it while I was changing her. Repeatedly. She threw a fit when I tried to put her shoes on, and laid down on the floor screaming when I put her coat on.

The whole way to the store she was crying for 'snacks'. I managed to keep the peace at Target by giving her some snacks. The whole way home from Target, she cried for food. We got home, and I couldn't carry her up the stairs because I had our goodies from Target. So she threw herself on the floor and screamed.

I tried to ignore her whining while I made her lunch, taking deep breaths the whole time. I put her in her high chair, and gave her food. (Which she had been demanding for about 1/2 an hour now.) She took one bite, then started just throwing it all on the floor. I made her sit in her high chair for a few minutes before I let her out. When I let her out, she unplugged the phone line from the wall. Then, as soon as I got rid of the lunch that she threw on the floor, she started asking for food again.

I feel like she has fought me on every single thing today. Changing diapers, getting dressed, eating...and just doing all the things she knows she's not supposed to do. I know she's not doing it 'on purpose', and I'm trying really hard to remember that she's just little. And she's confused because daddy isn't here. But I'm 7 months pregnant, tired, and hormonal. I'm having a really hard time finding the patience, and the perspective to remember those things all the time.

It also doesn't help that some girls from my MOPS group are getting together tonight. I really wanted to get to know people this year, and maybe form some relationships. This get together would have been great for that. But since hubby is out of town, I need to take care of Becca. And she doesn't give a rip. :P

Okay. Enough venting for now. It's almost naptime for the tired little one. And naptime for mama too, I hope. Maybe a good cry will be cathartic enough for me to get through the afternoon.

I love my little girl...I love my little girl...I love my little girl. She is a blessing. She is a blessing, she is a blessing.